Peonies are blooming. I saw them opening up yesterday (5/29/2013).
My mother, who suddenly passed away in 2012 due to doctor's blunder, simply loved them. She visited me for six months in 2010. That year the peonies bloomed in July-August. She had arthritic knees but still she would limp out into the garden to enjoy the atmosphere, smell the peonies, enjoy their beauties and complain about the beautiful roses for not having any good smell. Here is she:
She looks so sad in this picture because it was the last day of her visit with us. Now she is gone forever from this material-world but remains alive in our mind and heart. I am not a religious person and thus does not find any comfort in such thoughts as that she is in heaven or that one day I will meet her in heaven. But I still wonder where she might be now? Is death the end of all? What is birth? What is death? Is birth the result of mere combination of male and female reproductive cells or something more? Is death just the destruction of those cells or something more? Is it similar to us picking out the weed and thus killing them? Who is picking us out then and why? Are we becoming like weeds at certain point in our life? What is that point then and who makes the decision? If I have to believe that God is making such decision, then I also have to declare myself a Goddess as the decision of life and death of all living organism in my garden is in my hand. So no, I can't believe in God/Goddess and make my life easier.
What is this vast universe? The size of the observable universe is about 14 billion light years, that is about 82.3x10^(21) miles. It's diameter is 546.7x10^(21) miles. Can you imagine the size? And who knows what's beyond that? I wish I could travel throughout space and time, observe the Big-Bang and the parallel universes, feel the higher dimensions and find answers to many questions.
But I do not have any such luck or perhaps even in hundred years. Now all I can do is become depressed for this unknown life or roam around in graveyards, thinking about all the people there. It is so strange to think that buried underneath are people who once had so much dreams and wishes and memories; spent their lives just like us -- thinking, reading, writing, gardening, gossiping, enjoying; they also felt pain and got scared. But, now nothing is left of them but some inanimate skulls and bones. Or maybe they have already become compost?
So, what's the use of gardening when I don't know what will happen to this life or to this garden with my death? Observe, learn, get awe-struck, spread the good vibes, share, struck-up friendship, help other creatures and enjoy the beauty till death snatches me.......
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My mother, who suddenly passed away in 2012 due to doctor's blunder, simply loved them. She visited me for six months in 2010. That year the peonies bloomed in July-August. She had arthritic knees but still she would limp out into the garden to enjoy the atmosphere, smell the peonies, enjoy their beauties and complain about the beautiful roses for not having any good smell. Here is she:
She looks so sad in this picture because it was the last day of her visit with us. Now she is gone forever from this material-world but remains alive in our mind and heart. I am not a religious person and thus does not find any comfort in such thoughts as that she is in heaven or that one day I will meet her in heaven. But I still wonder where she might be now? Is death the end of all? What is birth? What is death? Is birth the result of mere combination of male and female reproductive cells or something more? Is death just the destruction of those cells or something more? Is it similar to us picking out the weed and thus killing them? Who is picking us out then and why? Are we becoming like weeds at certain point in our life? What is that point then and who makes the decision? If I have to believe that God is making such decision, then I also have to declare myself a Goddess as the decision of life and death of all living organism in my garden is in my hand. So no, I can't believe in God/Goddess and make my life easier.
What is this vast universe? The size of the observable universe is about 14 billion light years, that is about 82.3x10^(21) miles. It's diameter is 546.7x10^(21) miles. Can you imagine the size? And who knows what's beyond that? I wish I could travel throughout space and time, observe the Big-Bang and the parallel universes, feel the higher dimensions and find answers to many questions.
But I do not have any such luck or perhaps even in hundred years. Now all I can do is become depressed for this unknown life or roam around in graveyards, thinking about all the people there. It is so strange to think that buried underneath are people who once had so much dreams and wishes and memories; spent their lives just like us -- thinking, reading, writing, gardening, gossiping, enjoying; they also felt pain and got scared. But, now nothing is left of them but some inanimate skulls and bones. Or maybe they have already become compost?
So, what's the use of gardening when I don't know what will happen to this life or to this garden with my death? Observe, learn, get awe-struck, spread the good vibes, share, struck-up friendship, help other creatures and enjoy the beauty till death snatches me.......
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